Its funny how you can remember some things but some things you can't. I got sick when I was 18 monthes old but I can't remember getting sick. I can remember doing things because I had meningitis but actually back then it was just considered as fun. It was therapy and I had to do every week. Although, some of it was fun, some of it hurt me and I started to not like it the more I grew up. So I grew up hating
therapy. Growing up I never thought of myself as different except when other people told me that I was, either by teasing me or immitating me. I never really understood why people did that. I just ignored it because as a child I didn't know how to fight back, but when I grew up, I just never wanted to be in the presence of someone who would do that. I find it extremely embarrassing and don't want to tolerate it anymore.

Day Gone Bad

Day Gone Bad

It was a wonderful day at the beach with my friend. I love the beach. I also love boogie boarding. I didn’t know what kind of day it would turn into. I decided to go into the water and boogie board. My friend decided to stay on shore and just watch me. It was so fun catching the waves and ridding them in. The water wasn’t cold at all and was perfect for boogie boarding. Months earlier my cousins came over. They all were boogie boarding. I was scared to go out with them. My oldest cousin said it would be ok and took me out. It was really fun to go with her and I just had the best time. I had so much fun that months later I wanted to do it again. I went again with another friend but was hesitant to go really deep because she didn’t. Although, I was a little more confident that I could do it than before because I went with my cousin and I felt safe. Then this next time I went with yet another friend. I felt really confident that I could go boogie boarding by myself probably too confident. So I went out. It was fun but I noticed the ocean was shallow in one area and then deeper in others. It was hard to walk because at one point I would be walking and then I’d walk farther out and then I’d be sinking with I didn’t know of how far of a drop it would be. It was hard to walk then. I just didn’t really pay attention and kept on boogie boarding. At times I liked it because it was easy to stand after you came in off a wave. I looked over and saw little kids boogie boarding. Then my worst nightmare came true. I looked over and saw the biggest wave coming at me. I tried getting my board up but it was too late. The wave crashed over me and the next thing I remember is the worst headache I’ve ever felt in my whole life. My neck turned and I thought I broke my neck. I thought I was paralyzed. I told myself I have to get to shore. It was hard to get up and move. Finally I gained enough strength to get up. I tried running to shore. I remember hearing myself call out for help but my voice was muffled because my tongue was bit and my lips were cut and I saw a man race toward me. He sat me down and then my friend came over and I remember her saying, “OH MY GOD” I can’t imagine what she might have been thinking. She just kept saying, “I’m so sorry.” But my nose kept bleeding and it was so painful. The paramedics came and they wanted to put me in a neck brace. I did not want my neck in a brace. It was really scary because I remember last time I was in one of those I couldn’t move and felt claustrophobic and not in control of anything. But I know they were just trying to help me and looking back I did not want to make it harder on them. Finally they let me stay out of the brace and realized I did not need it. I sat there for a while, still and let them check me out. They finally realized I was in bad shock and just let me sit there for a while crying. I didn’t know at the time that I broke my nose and that’s why my nose was bleeding so much. It was bruised on the inside and on the outside. Plus, my mouth was cut pretty bad on my lip. I also think I must have bit my tongue because later on it was black. I thought my day would be fun but later on I got to see how my day of fun could have changed my whole life. I am lucky to even have functions that enable me to write this. After the paramedics cleaned me up, I thanked them and my friend called my dad to come get me cause I didn’t know how severe my injuries were that I could be driving home. All in all I learned a great lesson that day. It was my fault I got hurt because someone wasn’t in the water with me. My friend didn’t go in with me so I thought I was safe because she was watching me from the shore. Next time I will make sure I have someone to go in the water with me and maybe I will research the beaches a little more.

A Change in Me

A year ago I never knew this was possible. I kept praying to God that this would happen. And about 6 weeks ago it happened. Its my testemony that God does answer prayers. Of no fault of my own, one day I just stopped shaking. My spasticity went away. About 4 years ago I volunteered to help this organization called Ivey Ranch that helps developmentally disabled kids ride horses. There are many physiological and psychological benefits documented in people during interactions with animals. These include lowered blood pressure and heart rate, increased beta-endorphin levels, decreased stress levels, reduced feelings of anger, hostility, tension and anxiety, improved social functioning, and increased feelings of empowerment, trust, patience and self-esteem. The horses also help people with coordination.
While I experienced it helping others I never knew the horse therapy could help me as well. It not only helps children with the things I mentioned above but it also helps adults with developmental disabilities as well. I had meningitis when I was 18 monthes and have balancing issues. The horse helps correct my balance and helps with my posture. But most importantly the horse takes my spasticity away and makes me more relaxed in my movements. I don't know how they do it. They are amazing creatures. I start ridding and I instantly become more relaxed. Its like magic. Its a miracle and I am finally cured. Medication couldn't do it but horses can. God answered my prayers. Life is finally good. And I am greatful.

I made it so far

My name is Denise Rouffaer and I want to write a story to tell everyone that if a person has a disability out there that they can make it in this world but they may just have different obstacles that get in their way. All my life I was told I would never succeed. When I was 18 months old I contracted meningitis. I was in a coma for 7 weeks. When I came out of it my parents were told I would never walk. Meningitis effects the outer layer of the brain known as the meningies. When this happens, the bacteria infects and creates swelling on the brain. The term itis means swelling or inflamation of some body part. After this happened, I was to learn all of what I lost again. Bits and peices of bacteria from the meningitis was scattered all over my brain, some of it was nerve damage, another part was short term memory loss. All the doctors told my parents that one leg would be shorter than the other because one side of my body was paralyzed. I went to therapy and regained most of the of my limbs that they told my parents couldn't work anymore. Sooner or later my legs and arms got stronger and today I can swim a mile. When I went to school there was another challenge I had to face. I was in special education classes most of my life only mainstreamed into the regular classes the rest of the time. I remember all through my life other kids teasing me about how I walked and because of the nerve damage I had I would have spasticity all throughout the day and kids would call me earthquake all the time. I remember crying because I could not stop it. Kids were just mean. Then in Junior High I joined a sports team called Wheels on Fire, which is a sports team for the physically disabled. My self esteam went up and I began to feel good about myself. There were other kids on that team with physical disabilities just like me. I felt good. I was on the swim team, baseketball team, tennis team and played archery. It was great. I swam so much that my wheels on fire coach thought I was good enough to swim on my able bodied high school swim team. That was a really fun time in my life. I even made it to college. I have now graduated with a BA in Human Development and am looking for a job right now. I am here to tell everyone that even though there may be things in life that hinder you or get in your way nothing would ever stop me from getting a diploma. Thats all I wanted and I got it. If I can do it anyone can and nothing could have ever stepped in my way. I have one now and no one could ever take that away.

My name is Denise Rouffaer and I want to write a story to tell everyone that if a person has a disability out there that they can make it in this world but they may just have different obstacles that get in their way. All my life I was told I would never succeed. When I was 18 months old I contracted meningitis. I was in a coma for 7 weeks. When I came out of it my parents were told I would never walk. Meningitis effects the outer layer of the brain known as the meningies. When this happens, the bacteria infects and creates swelling on the brain. The term itis means swelling or inflamation of some body part. After this happened, I was to learn all of what I lost again. Bits and peices of bacteria from the meningitis was scattered all over my brain, some of it was nerve damage, another part was short term memory loss. All the doctors told my parents that one leg would be shorter than the other because one side of my body was paralyzed. I went to therapy and regained most of the of my limbs that they told my parents couldn't work anymore. Sooner or later my legs and arms got stronger and today I can swim a mile. When I went to school there was another challenge I had to face. I was in special education classes most of my life only mainstreamed into the regular classes the rest of the time. I remember all through my life other kids teasing me about how I walked and because of the nerve damage I had I would have spasticity all throughout the day and kids would call me earthquake all the time. I remember crying because I could not stop it. Kids were just mean. Then in Junior High I joined a sports team called Wheels on Fire, which is a sports team for the physically disabled. My self esteam went up and I began to feel good about myself. There were other kids on that team with physical disabilities just like me. I felt good. I was on the swim team, baseketball team, tennis team and played archery. It was great. I swam so much that my wheels on fire coach thought I was good enough to swim on my able bodied high school swim team. That was a really fun time in my life. I even made it to college. I have now graduated with a BA in Human Development and am looking for a job right now. I am here to tell everyone that even though there may be things in life that hinder you or get in your way nothing would ever stop me from getting a diploma. Thats all I wanted and I got it. If I can do it anyone can and nothing could have ever stepped in my way. I have one now and no one could ever take that away.

When I Kneel Before You

I will kneel before you
You will see at me at the gate.
I will be wearing a white robe when I get there.
I can hardly wait.
I have to ask you all these questions
And I know you will explain every little word
I need you to answer me
I need to be heard.
What is complex to me.
Is easy for you.
But thank you for caring in all that we do.
I pray every night to you as I call out your name.
Because we are all human and don’t do things the same.
Every religion says they are the truth.
I’ve grown up with me knowing the right way to believe
All through my youth.
Its hard to know you when I stumble and fall.
Its hard to tell others to break down their wall.
I believe in you is easy to say.
I will let nothing ever stand in my way.

Denise Rouffaer

About Me

Greatest life lesson is perseverance for student who survived meningitis

By Triveni Sheshadri
TODAY'S LOCAL NEWS

April 18, 2008

SAN MARCOS – It's been almost 30 years since Denise Rouffaer was struck by bacterial meningitis. Its effects are evident to this day. The illness left Rouffaer with learning disabilities, trouble with short-term memory, tremors, impaired speech and problems with her gait.

But the San Marcos resident has let none of that stand in the way of her pursuit of a college degree. Rouffaer is now a senior majoring in human development at Cal State San Marcos.

“The four-year college is going to take me more than four years,” she said. “But I am very, very happy to be there.”

Rouffaer, who grew up in the San Jose area, contracted bacterial meningitis when she was 18 months old. Her left side was paralyzed, and she remained in a coma for seven weeks. When she came out of it, she had to learn to sit up, crawl, walk and talk all over again.

Meningitis is an infection of the membranes surrounding the brain and the spinal cord. It can be caused by bacterial, viral or fungal infection. Bacterial meningitis can be fatal, and survivors often suffer paralysis, mental impairment and seizures.

When Rouffaer, 30, began school, she was in a combination of mainstream and special-education classes. She always found herself on the fringes of the friendships that flourished in class and on the playground. She was often on the receiving end of bullying and teasing.

“They called me 'Earthquake' because of my tremors,” she recalled.

Rouffaer tried her best to be like the other kids, attempting to run track with her physical education class. She fell often and injured herself. “Things I did when I was little in order to fit in (were) shocking,” Rouffaer said. “I so wanted to fit in, I think I would have done just about anything.”

When Rouffaer came home crying over something that had happened in school, her mother encouraged her to write about her thoughts and feelings. Over time, the journal became a friend and confidant to pour out her triumphs, joys, sadness and frustrations. She began writing poetry and continues that today.

Growing up, Rouffaer always wanted to emulate her older brother. She learned to swim and to ride the bicycle in spite of several falls and visits to the emergency room.

“It was her stubbornness that got her through a lot,” said her mother, Karen Rouffaer.

In junior high school, Rouffaer became involved in a sports league for youths with disabilities. She swam, played wheelchair basketball and tried her hand at skiing and water skiing. For the first time, Rouffaer said she felt accepted.

“We didn't talk about our disabilities,” Rouffaer said. “I made friends. They helped me a lot with my self esteem and showed me sportsmanship.”

Harry Garcia, Rouffaer's PE teacher in high school, remembers a kind and compassionate young woman. As he lay in a hospital bed after donating a kidney to his ailing daughter, the phone rang. It was Rouffaer calling to find out how he was doing.

“It made me feel that much better,” Garcia said. “She called me every day and let me know what was going on in school.”

He is not surprised she is on the college path.

“I expected her to be. She works very hard; she is very focused,” he said.

After graduating from high school, Rouffaer attended community college near San Jose. When her father's job brought the family to San Marcos, she earned an associate degree from Palomar College and enrolled in Cal State San Marcos.

Rouffaer has found it helpful to work in study groups. She has a note taker in class and often tapes lectures. Because of her difficulties with short-term memory, she has to study the same material over and over again.

“She is very upset when she fails a class,” her mother said. “It breaks her heart, but she doesn't quit. She goes back and takes the class again.”

Rouffaer said she hopes eventually to work with abused children and those with disabilities.

“I could never stay home and not do anything,” she said. “Despite everything I have been through, I feel ready for what I want to do.”