More About Me

My Story I was born in San Jose on Jan 14th, 1978. My life was going great until I got really sick. My mom took me to the doctor and he sent me home saying that I had a little cold. She took me again and they still sent me home and then gave me medicine. She kept on taking me to see the doctor and they kept sending me home. Then one day my neck got really stiff and my eyes rolled back in my head. My mom rushed me in again and the doctor then ordered a spinal tap. That doctor saved my life. When people don’t listen it can have fatal consequences on your life. If my doctors didn’t listen to my parents I probably wouldn’t be here today. It was then discovered I had meningitis. I was only 18 months old. Itis means swelling on the brain. It is an infection of the outer covering of the brain and spinal cord. I was told I had bacterial meningitis. How I got it is unknown. I was in a coma for 7 weeks. When I came out of the coma I had to learn everything again. I also was blind in the coma for a while because of the swelling on the brain. I was also paralyzed on my left side of my body. My nervous system was affected so I take medication because I have really bad spasticity all over my body. That is movements out of my control. When I became of school age I had learning disabilities. In school I was teased by everyone. I became ashamed to talk about meningitis. I think I still am, but this is who I am and I can’t take it away from me. I had friends but they were curious to know why I shook all the time but I was never comfortable to talk about it. I was never comfortable telling and they were never comfortable asking. So we never brought it up. The kids found other ways to express what they wanted to know. Kids who I thought were my friends made me do things that I didn’t want to do. I think kids made fun of me because they were embarrassed to ask. My teachers said I would never graduate. If only they could see me now and what I have accomplished. Junior High was the worst time in my life. And this was the time in my life that my spastisity was the worst in my life. I couldn’t read because I was shaking so much. I felt like it was out of control. I went to the doctor and he prescribed artane to make me stop shake or shake less. The teasing wouldn’t stop and I felt pretty close to ending my life. In high school I went on one of those little buses. I didn’t like it because I thought it didn’t make me look cool, whatever. So then one day I decided I would take the regular public bus to school. So I walked to the bus and got on. I didn’t realize all the buses went different ways so we went a totally different way then where my school was. I thought OMG we are going the wrong way. I got off after a long thought of maybe it would turn around. Of course, it didn’t. I was far away from my school and now I will have to pay for it by walking a couple miles. I thought about calling someone (this was before they had cell phones) there were pay phones. I thought I better pretend like nothing happened and I kept walking. I thought about just giving up and just sitting on the side of the road and maybe crying but I kept walking. Soon I got to my school but when I was just across the street a cop car comes up to me. He gets out and says, “Why aren’t you in school?” I was really mad. Where the heck was this cop 10 blocks ago. I was tired and didn’t really feel like sitting in a cop car driving across the street to the school. I didn’t really want to hear anything. He put me in his cop car and I started crying. “I was almost there,” I thought. I was so close, and now I’m going to jail. I had tons of thoughts going through my mind. Its never good when you think you are going to jail. But he didn’t take me to jail. He only put me in the back of his cop car. I ended up making only 2 of the 6 classes I had that day. It wasn’t even worth going to school that day. But I learned a good lesson. Research whatever you want to do and don’t assume things are going to go your way. And most importantly I never gave up. Another time I was at swim practice. I noticed people in wheelchairs practicing basketball next to the pool I was in. I was curious so I walked into the gym. The coach there saw me and said it was a wheelchair basketball team and that they practice every Saturday afternoon. I was thrilled to find a team that I could participate in. She invited me to play and told me I could borrow a chair to play in. Not only was there wheelchair basketball but there was a swim team too. I signed up to swim and play wheelchair basketball. The wheelchair team, which was called Wheels on Fire, played basketball and had several tournaments to go to. They also went to several swim meets including one in San Diego. I loved Wheels on Fire because it was the first time I didn’t feel like I had to hide my disability. Because there were others like me, I felt comfortable and could be myself. I practiced swimming so much that in my high school years my wheels on fire coach thought I was ready to compete and practice on my high school team. It really boosted my self esteem when I went on the team. I felt like I could do anything and I was so happy. Swimming on a team was hard. I just wanted to swim to be like everyone else. Soon I graduated high school and then went to a junior college. I took some test to see where I belonged. I didn’t do that well on that day for some reason. The lady there said I wouldn’t be able to go to college anymore sense I failed that test. I was crushed and started crying and ran out of the room. My mom told me not to give up and enrolled me in another college where I excelled and graduated with a Liberal Arts degree. Then I transferred to Cal State San Marcos. I had to take classes sometimes twice but I made it and graduated with a BA in Human Development. A lot of people said I would never graduate high school but I did. A lot of people said I would never graduate junior college but I did. I don’t know why people tell me things and say I can’t do something. It just makes me want to do things even harder. I want to prove them wrong. I even got a poem published in a book. I kept on trying to do publish something and maybe they got tired and said fine. The point is that I never gave up. I didn’t want to just sit on the side of the road. It might have been hard but I did it.

Meningitis

Its what I had. I don't like to say it although people could probably tell that I have something. Something, but they don't have to know what it is. When I was younger I never wanted to tell people about meningitis. The more I didn't tell them the easier it was not to. It became awkward to tell people and awkward not to. Now I've grown up and learned how comfortable it is not to tell people. How do I tell people and make them understand? Will they still want to be friends if they know? I feel really scared when I begin to ask myself these questions. I hope people see me for who I am and understand me. I wish things were different sometimes but I know God has a plan and I have to trust him.

Its funny how you can remember some things but some things you can't. I got sick when I was 18 monthes old but I can't remember getting sick. I can remember doing things because I had meningitis but actually back then it was just considered as fun. It was therapy and I had to do every week. Although, some of it was fun, some of it hurt me and I started to not like it the more I grew up. So I grew up hating
therapy. Growing up I never thought of myself as different except when other people told me that I was, either by teasing me or immitating me. I never really understood why people did that. I just ignored it because as a child I didn't know how to fight back, but when I grew up, I just never wanted to be in the presence of someone who would do that. I find it extremely embarrassing and don't want to tolerate it anymore.

Day Gone Bad

Day Gone Bad

It was a wonderful day at the beach with my friend. I love the beach. I also love boogie boarding. I didn’t know what kind of day it would turn into. I decided to go into the water and boogie board. My friend decided to stay on shore and just watch me. It was so fun catching the waves and ridding them in. The water wasn’t cold at all and was perfect for boogie boarding. Months earlier my cousins came over. They all were boogie boarding. I was scared to go out with them. My oldest cousin said it would be ok and took me out. It was really fun to go with her and I just had the best time. I had so much fun that months later I wanted to do it again. I went again with another friend but was hesitant to go really deep because she didn’t. Although, I was a little more confident that I could do it than before because I went with my cousin and I felt safe. Then this next time I went with yet another friend. I felt really confident that I could go boogie boarding by myself probably too confident. So I went out. It was fun but I noticed the ocean was shallow in one area and then deeper in others. It was hard to walk because at one point I would be walking and then I’d walk farther out and then I’d be sinking with I didn’t know of how far of a drop it would be. It was hard to walk then. I just didn’t really pay attention and kept on boogie boarding. At times I liked it because it was easy to stand after you came in off a wave. I looked over and saw little kids boogie boarding. Then my worst nightmare came true. I looked over and saw the biggest wave coming at me. I tried getting my board up but it was too late. The wave crashed over me and the next thing I remember is the worst headache I’ve ever felt in my whole life. My neck turned and I thought I broke my neck. I thought I was paralyzed. I told myself I have to get to shore. It was hard to get up and move. Finally I gained enough strength to get up. I tried running to shore. I remember hearing myself call out for help but my voice was muffled because my tongue was bit and my lips were cut and I saw a man race toward me. He sat me down and then my friend came over and I remember her saying, “OH MY GOD” I can’t imagine what she might have been thinking. She just kept saying, “I’m so sorry.” But my nose kept bleeding and it was so painful. The paramedics came and they wanted to put me in a neck brace. I did not want my neck in a brace. It was really scary because I remember last time I was in one of those I couldn’t move and felt claustrophobic and not in control of anything. But I know they were just trying to help me and looking back I did not want to make it harder on them. Finally they let me stay out of the brace and realized I did not need it. I sat there for a while, still and let them check me out. They finally realized I was in bad shock and just let me sit there for a while crying. I didn’t know at the time that I broke my nose and that’s why my nose was bleeding so much. It was bruised on the inside and on the outside. Plus, my mouth was cut pretty bad on my lip. I also think I must have bit my tongue because later on it was black. I thought my day would be fun but later on I got to see how my day of fun could have changed my whole life. I am lucky to even have functions that enable me to write this. After the paramedics cleaned me up, I thanked them and my friend called my dad to come get me cause I didn’t know how severe my injuries were that I could be driving home. All in all I learned a great lesson that day. It was my fault I got hurt because someone wasn’t in the water with me. My friend didn’t go in with me so I thought I was safe because she was watching me from the shore. Next time I will make sure I have someone to go in the water with me and maybe I will research the beaches a little more.

A Change in Me

A year ago I never knew this was possible. I kept praying to God that this would happen. And about 6 weeks ago it happened. Its my testemony that God does answer prayers. Of no fault of my own, one day I just stopped shaking. My spasticity went away. About 4 years ago I volunteered to help this organization called Ivey Ranch that helps developmentally disabled kids ride horses. There are many physiological and psychological benefits documented in people during interactions with animals. These include lowered blood pressure and heart rate, increased beta-endorphin levels, decreased stress levels, reduced feelings of anger, hostility, tension and anxiety, improved social functioning, and increased feelings of empowerment, trust, patience and self-esteem. The horses also help people with coordination.
While I experienced it helping others I never knew the horse therapy could help me as well. It not only helps children with the things I mentioned above but it also helps adults with developmental disabilities as well. I had meningitis when I was 18 monthes and have balancing issues. The horse helps correct my balance and helps with my posture. But most importantly the horse takes my spasticity away and makes me more relaxed in my movements. I don't know how they do it. They are amazing creatures. I start ridding and I instantly become more relaxed. Its like magic. Its a miracle and I am finally cured. Medication couldn't do it but horses can. God answered my prayers. Life is finally good. And I am greatful.

I made it so far

My name is Denise Rouffaer and I want to write a story to tell everyone that if a person has a disability out there that they can make it in this world but they may just have different obstacles that get in their way. All my life I was told I would never succeed. When I was 18 months old I contracted meningitis. I was in a coma for 7 weeks. When I came out of it my parents were told I would never walk. Meningitis effects the outer layer of the brain known as the meningies. When this happens, the bacteria infects and creates swelling on the brain. The term itis means swelling or inflamation of some body part. After this happened, I was to learn all of what I lost again. Bits and peices of bacteria from the meningitis was scattered all over my brain, some of it was nerve damage, another part was short term memory loss. All the doctors told my parents that one leg would be shorter than the other because one side of my body was paralyzed. I went to therapy and regained most of the of my limbs that they told my parents couldn't work anymore. Sooner or later my legs and arms got stronger and today I can swim a mile. When I went to school there was another challenge I had to face. I was in special education classes most of my life only mainstreamed into the regular classes the rest of the time. I remember all through my life other kids teasing me about how I walked and because of the nerve damage I had I would have spasticity all throughout the day and kids would call me earthquake all the time. I remember crying because I could not stop it. Kids were just mean. Then in Junior High I joined a sports team called Wheels on Fire, which is a sports team for the physically disabled. My self esteam went up and I began to feel good about myself. There were other kids on that team with physical disabilities just like me. I felt good. I was on the swim team, baseketball team, tennis team and played archery. It was great. I swam so much that my wheels on fire coach thought I was good enough to swim on my able bodied high school swim team. That was a really fun time in my life. I even made it to college. I have now graduated with a BA in Human Development and am looking for a job right now. I am here to tell everyone that even though there may be things in life that hinder you or get in your way nothing would ever stop me from getting a diploma. Thats all I wanted and I got it. If I can do it anyone can and nothing could have ever stepped in my way. I have one now and no one could ever take that away.

My name is Denise Rouffaer and I want to write a story to tell everyone that if a person has a disability out there that they can make it in this world but they may just have different obstacles that get in their way. All my life I was told I would never succeed. When I was 18 months old I contracted meningitis. I was in a coma for 7 weeks. When I came out of it my parents were told I would never walk. Meningitis effects the outer layer of the brain known as the meningies. When this happens, the bacteria infects and creates swelling on the brain. The term itis means swelling or inflamation of some body part. After this happened, I was to learn all of what I lost again. Bits and peices of bacteria from the meningitis was scattered all over my brain, some of it was nerve damage, another part was short term memory loss. All the doctors told my parents that one leg would be shorter than the other because one side of my body was paralyzed. I went to therapy and regained most of the of my limbs that they told my parents couldn't work anymore. Sooner or later my legs and arms got stronger and today I can swim a mile. When I went to school there was another challenge I had to face. I was in special education classes most of my life only mainstreamed into the regular classes the rest of the time. I remember all through my life other kids teasing me about how I walked and because of the nerve damage I had I would have spasticity all throughout the day and kids would call me earthquake all the time. I remember crying because I could not stop it. Kids were just mean. Then in Junior High I joined a sports team called Wheels on Fire, which is a sports team for the physically disabled. My self esteam went up and I began to feel good about myself. There were other kids on that team with physical disabilities just like me. I felt good. I was on the swim team, baseketball team, tennis team and played archery. It was great. I swam so much that my wheels on fire coach thought I was good enough to swim on my able bodied high school swim team. That was a really fun time in my life. I even made it to college. I have now graduated with a BA in Human Development and am looking for a job right now. I am here to tell everyone that even though there may be things in life that hinder you or get in your way nothing would ever stop me from getting a diploma. Thats all I wanted and I got it. If I can do it anyone can and nothing could have ever stepped in my way. I have one now and no one could ever take that away.