About Me

Greatest life lesson is perseverance for student who survived meningitis

By Triveni Sheshadri
TODAY'S LOCAL NEWS

April 18, 2008

SAN MARCOS – It's been almost 30 years since Denise Rouffaer was struck by bacterial meningitis. Its effects are evident to this day. The illness left Rouffaer with learning disabilities, trouble with short-term memory, tremors, impaired speech and problems with her gait.

But the San Marcos resident has let none of that stand in the way of her pursuit of a college degree. Rouffaer is now a senior majoring in human development at Cal State San Marcos.

“The four-year college is going to take me more than four years,” she said. “But I am very, very happy to be there.”

Rouffaer, who grew up in the San Jose area, contracted bacterial meningitis when she was 18 months old. Her left side was paralyzed, and she remained in a coma for seven weeks. When she came out of it, she had to learn to sit up, crawl, walk and talk all over again.

Meningitis is an infection of the membranes surrounding the brain and the spinal cord. It can be caused by bacterial, viral or fungal infection. Bacterial meningitis can be fatal, and survivors often suffer paralysis, mental impairment and seizures.

When Rouffaer, 30, began school, she was in a combination of mainstream and special-education classes. She always found herself on the fringes of the friendships that flourished in class and on the playground. She was often on the receiving end of bullying and teasing.

“They called me 'Earthquake' because of my tremors,” she recalled.

Rouffaer tried her best to be like the other kids, attempting to run track with her physical education class. She fell often and injured herself. “Things I did when I was little in order to fit in (were) shocking,” Rouffaer said. “I so wanted to fit in, I think I would have done just about anything.”

When Rouffaer came home crying over something that had happened in school, her mother encouraged her to write about her thoughts and feelings. Over time, the journal became a friend and confidant to pour out her triumphs, joys, sadness and frustrations. She began writing poetry and continues that today.

Growing up, Rouffaer always wanted to emulate her older brother. She learned to swim and to ride the bicycle in spite of several falls and visits to the emergency room.

“It was her stubbornness that got her through a lot,” said her mother, Karen Rouffaer.

In junior high school, Rouffaer became involved in a sports league for youths with disabilities. She swam, played wheelchair basketball and tried her hand at skiing and water skiing. For the first time, Rouffaer said she felt accepted.

“We didn't talk about our disabilities,” Rouffaer said. “I made friends. They helped me a lot with my self esteem and showed me sportsmanship.”

Harry Garcia, Rouffaer's PE teacher in high school, remembers a kind and compassionate young woman. As he lay in a hospital bed after donating a kidney to his ailing daughter, the phone rang. It was Rouffaer calling to find out how he was doing.

“It made me feel that much better,” Garcia said. “She called me every day and let me know what was going on in school.”

He is not surprised she is on the college path.

“I expected her to be. She works very hard; she is very focused,” he said.

After graduating from high school, Rouffaer attended community college near San Jose. When her father's job brought the family to San Marcos, she earned an associate degree from Palomar College and enrolled in Cal State San Marcos.

Rouffaer has found it helpful to work in study groups. She has a note taker in class and often tapes lectures. Because of her difficulties with short-term memory, she has to study the same material over and over again.

“She is very upset when she fails a class,” her mother said. “It breaks her heart, but she doesn't quit. She goes back and takes the class again.”

Rouffaer said she hopes eventually to work with abused children and those with disabilities.

“I could never stay home and not do anything,” she said. “Despite everything I have been through, I feel ready for what I want to do.”

My Life

My life right now is great. I just finished college last December and right now I've been looking for a job. I just got an interview. If it doesn't work out I will just look as it as another experience. It is at a clothing store called Coldwater Creek. It is close to home and am really excited for what could happen. Even though, its not a career its experience I need for another job that I will get later in my life. I am very excited for this opportunity. Even if I don't get this job, I will be happy for the interviewing practice. But I am hoping to get it.

My Life Right

No Voice

I may not talk in words that are easy to hear.
It may come out in jumbles that aren’t always clear.
I use gestures and other ways.
I communicate through my hands and my blank gaze.
I love life and am often confined.
These are the walls I put up and hide behind.
In this world I have got to find my place
Sometimes it is gone.
And then I get mixed up and can’t seem to belong.
I don’t seem to know the right way to go.
And sometimes I can loose all since of control.
I need someone to keep me focused and I will need someone’s protection.
I will need someone to keep me going and point me in the right direction.
I needed to accomplish little things to get where I am
I sometimes say things and nobody will understand.
I think the angels gave me to the right person
You are the one they picked.
The angels knew you would never give up
They knew you would never quit.
Life keeps going even if some things might get out of hand.
The angels put you here for a reason its all what they had planned.
They brought me to you for a reason to chance something that you didn’t have before
They brought me to you to open another door.
The angels were calling your sweet name
Reminding you that your life will never be the same.

Denise Rouffaer

Getting there

I have just graduated from Cal State San Marcos. I never thought I would make it this far. It has been quite a journey. I loved the ride but I'd get so frustrated with why I was so slow in getting there. I am so grateful to share it with all of my friends. I love them so much. I've had so many obstacles in my life. I've had meningitis and that is one of the hugest obstacle in the world that I've had to tackle. I don't know what my life would have been like if I didn't have meningitis but it has made me stronger and I am a better person because of it.