Still Getting There

When my life isn't perfect
And things are not done my way,
I just need to remind myself that I will get there some day.
I need to get out of this place that I have been.
I need some kind of direction
When I wanted to win.
My life is turning
And I don't know which way to go.
But I'm standing still as I try to gain control.
People tell me I must move on
I try to be brave and pretend to be strong.
Its a hard thing to do when there is no one around.
I have fallen in the darkest hole and need someone to help me off the ground.
You were there to save me.
Someone was there to listen.
Because I just wanted someone to listen.
It hurts and I don't know where to turn.
Because someone has to help me up
Even if it is hard to learn.
I'm ok, I think
People say I just need to give it time.

Denise Rouffaer

Getting Through This

Getting Through This

I don’t really know how to get there from here.
I just need to know how I can get there.
This is just the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
But I will also need a little help from you.
People try and help but I don’t know which way to go.
And it is so hard not to loose all since of control.
I can’t really help it because this is how I feel.
My pain comes and goes and it is quite real.
Some days will be fine but people tell me I need to move on.
But its so hard when I feel this way because I need to be strong.
I want to keep on going and pretend that I am fine
But inside I’m hurting and that goes on all the time.
When will this end?
I need to know.
I need another type of closure to tell me where he did go.
I want to stop feeling this way
Please help me get out of this feeling I feel today.
Because I need to keep going in a life that doesn’t slow down
I am still hurting inside because he is just not around.
Sometimes I sit and just call out his name
Because in my life it has to keep going even if no one can stop my pain.
I just want my pain to leave its here day after day.
Why won’t it ever leave and when will it go away?
I need to think of other things.
I wanted to say more but could think of anything else to say.
Its not fair that he had to leave me this way.
I want some answers as I look at the sky.
But its too late to go back and no one wants me to know why.
Why did he leave me its not fair
This thing in life is just getting harder and harder for me to bare.
I want to find answers but no one can see.
Why is this thing in life so hard for me?
Denise Rouffaer

Where Can I Turn?

Where Can I Turn?

What is waiting for me as this might be the lesson I learn
When will I get better and where can I turn
Life has many lessons
I want to see.
But all the answers are out of my reach
They are not in front of me.
I want to get answers as I begin to find,
But some are harder than others
They are easy to hide behind.
I need to find them
I need to search
I am struggling with answers and have made a turn for the worst.
All I want to do is get on the right track
God wants me there and he doesn’t want me to look back.
He is leading me on a path and now I must go.
But I may get lost somewhere and find myself out of control.
He knows I might get steered the wrong way,
But I know I will get there and make it ok.
I know He is the greatest thing and He has a much bigger plan
There are always going to be things in life I can’t fully understand.
Help me understand please
I can’t do this without someone there.
All I ask is that you be aware.
Aware that I’m hurting
I can’t let anyone see.
I only hope that he was proud of me.

7-9-09 Denise Rouffaer

I Will Be Praying

I will be praying

I will be saying a little prayer for you tonight
Because life might not go perfect but its going to be alright.
I will be thinking of you day by day
Reminding you that you are going to be ok.
I look at you for a long while.
You are as bright as a star and make me smile.
There are days when life seems like its not on your side and you might ask yourself why.
That’s when you need me the most when it looks like you can’t try.
I’ll be there even on your worst day.
I’ll be there when things might not go your way.
I’ve seen all the places you’ve been
Even on your worst days when you think you just couldn’t win.
There are days when you won’t want to hold anyone’s hand.
That’s when I’ll be there for you because you’ll need someone to help you understand.
There are times when all we can do is pray.
That is when we have to be the strongest when things might not go your way.
I say this from my heart
Life gets a little bumpy sometimes but that may only be a start.
You can do this
I know you can
God is looking down on us and he has a bigger plan
So when life isn’t perfect please look up at the sky.
I’m only there to encourage you even if you start to cry.
It will be the only thing I have from above.
The strength I got from Him is rapped in His love.

6-8-09
Denise Rouffaer

Time Will Heal Me

Time Will Heal Me

I need some answers when I begin to ask why
But I don’t want anyone to see me if I begin to cry.
I needed to say something but couldn’t find the right word.
I was trying to understand something that I heard.
I missed my chance and needed to say.
But I could never get the words to come out the right way.
People try to tell me things that I will never quite understand.
But things never seem to go exactly as I planned.
I want to thank them but can’t seem to get there.
And I don’t want people to think that I just don’t care.
I want people to know that I appreciate them and all that they try and do.
I just don’t know how to feel and its all pretty knew.
I just don’t know how anyone that goes through this is supposed to act
And I’m just trying to keep in tact.
I don’t know if I can focus for a long while
And its hard to keep my head up and its even hard to smile.
I loved him with all my heart
And in my mind we will never be apart.
Denise Rouffaer

Thanks

Thanks

I wanted to say thanks to all my friends
You were there when I needed you most.
Its nice I can depend on you
Its been hard for me to carry on
I’m trying to deal with things and I pretend to be strong.
Inside I’m hurting
I just want him back.
But God doesn’t make mistakes
He kept him on track.
He made us have tears and I have to weep
It keeps me up at night and sometimes its hard to sleep.
Its hard to keep going and I don’t like to complain
But its hard to keep going I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.
It hurts inside me
Will this pain go away?
It is here in the morning and day after day.
I need to remember.
All I want to do is write my thoughts down.
But the words can’t make you come back.
I just want you to be around.
Denise Rouffaer

The Angels Are With You

The Angels Are With You Now

Please help me as I try and understand.
I hear your voice but cannot hold your hand.
You are not here
And I am really sad.
Its hard to keep on going and at times I get really mad.
I want to see you
I want to hug you again
But some things in life aren’t easy for me to understand.
You were the greatest man I could ever know.
And people try to give me comfort as they tell me where you might go.
Its not fair that you had to leave when there was just too much more for me to say.
And it takes a great deal for me to carry on with my day.
I guess they needed an angel in heaven, just one more.
The angels were calling you to join them
And you were ready to knock on their door.
I wanted some answers as I looked toward the sky.
Because its hard to talk to people
I don’t want them to see me cry.
I don’t want to be with anyone
I just want to scream out loud.
I hope I made an impression on you and made you proud.
You were a good man
You have seen where I’ve been
Even on my worst days you were there when I just couldn’t win.
Thanks for being there when I was little and got sick
It was comforting to know you were by my side.
You saw me through my schooling and saw how hard I tried.
Because I wasn’t like every other kid and you didn’t care.
I would always hold your hand because you were always there.
I want you to know that God had a plan for me and you were it.
He saw that I could do anything and taught me never to quit.
You will be in my heart always and forever.
You were there to talk to even on my worst day
You just were there to make everything ok
I wish I knew how to be a little stronger.
All I wanted is to be with him a little longer.
When people see me I try not to fall apart.
But you will always be a person that is close to my heart.
I am proud of you and the life you have lead.
And I would never have wanted any other grandpa instead.

Gordon Sinclair Aug. 1, 1921-May 18, 2009
I miss you grandpa
5-18-09Denise Rouffaer

To My Grandpa

You have been through a lot
And seen most of the world.
You were there for me when I needed you the most.
I love you and you have always been close.
I need you everyday of my life.
You are the one who keeps me going.
You have made me strong.
And you always gave me a shoulder to cry on.
It won't be the same without you.
You taught me a great deal in life I look up to you so much.
You never knew that was my heart you touched.
You are in my heart always and forever.
I loved your stories you told.
I never saw that you had gotten old.
Thanks for being there when I was little and got sick.
I loved that you saw me and stuck by my side until I got well.
It was nice to have you by myside.
You saw me through my schooling and saw how hard I tryed.
Because I wasn't like every other kid and you didn't care.
I just loved that you stuck by my side and were always there.
You were there to encourage and talk to, even on my worst day.
You just were there and seemed to make everything ok.
You encouraged me in everything I'd do
I hope you know that I love you.

Denise Rouffaer

When I needed somebody

When I needed somebody

You would encourage me and told me I had a plan
You said you are there for me when others might not understand.
I said in life I might not want to be.
You saw me through some hard times
When it was tough to be me.
I know can make it
I just need a little more time.
It might take a little more.
I just need someone to help guide me through the right door.
It is easy to open for others
But I can’t seem to find the right key
I need to step inside
Before the door closes on me.
I might need to find another way.
Please help me along so I can get there someday.
Because some days are harder than others
But I will never quit
I need to find the right piece to my puzzle
One that will actually fit
My life is confusing and it has some twists and it may have a turn
Because some things in life are harder to learn
There are things in life that are hard to take
And some habits of taking my time will be harder to break.
I know I can make it in order to win
Please show me where to start so I can begin.

Denise Rouffaer

A Heart of Stone

A Heart Of Stone

Little one you have a heart of stone.
We are all praying for you and reminding you
That you are not doing this alone.
Your strength is getting stronger day by day.
May you let Him guide you
And let nothing stand in your way.
I believe in Him
He has a bigger plan
There are some things in life that we can’t understand.
There are miracles out there and you are one.
You have started on a road that is bumpy and long.
And one day it will be on a road that you will want to be on.
Don’t give up
That’s all you can do
We all are here and praying for you.
You are on a race and I know you can win
Down a road that when you look back you can see where you’ve been
I’ve met you and you are a strong little thing
You don’t know how much happiness you will bring.
Life may always have a twist and a turn
That is how God teaches us and how we learn.
Getting through the hard things is what God has in store.
He wants to show us a little more.
An appreciation for life is for everyone to see.
That is how great God is and all He can be.
I know you will make it.
I have known
You have a solid heart
And its made of stone.

3-24-09
Denise Antonia Rouffaer

Accomplish

Accomplish

I have accomplished
I have a dream
That I will work harder
Than I ever did before
I know I was put here for a purpose
To accomplish much more
I won’t let you down
If I fail I know I’ll pick myself up off the ground.
In this life when one door closes
Another door will open in its place
This, I know is going to take a little time
And sometimes it might move a little slow
I will get there
Just don’t ask why
Because if I fail
I know I did try
That is my purpose to learn something knew
Nothing will get in my way of what I want to do.
I never say I can’t because know I can
Its in my future and so far its my plan.
I want to go far in life and make people see
This is who I’ve become and all I can be.
Denise Rouffaer

Christmas poem

A Christmas Poem

It was days before Christmas
I hadn’t bought anything yet
Everyone is probably
Done all there shopping I bet.
So today I’ll go shopping
I can hardly wait
To go to the store
The pushing the shoving
I can’t believe I didn’t go before.
What if I get there
And the thing I wanted was wrong
What if the thing I wanted is gone.
I need to buy the perfect gift
The people driving are all crazy
So could you give me a lift
But then I might just forget about going
Because I don’t want to loose my mind
But then again it won’t take long to grab the first thing I find.
Nobody seems to have a Christmas list
And now I’m cold and blue.
I’ll be standing in line forever
Until someone gives me the flu
Then I’ll spend
Christmas at home in bed
I could have saved a bit of money
If I made their presents instead.
Denise Rouffaer

School Daze

The School Year

With teachers, books and a single pen
I’m desperately waiting for this school year to end.
I’ve learned all my teachers by heart.
And they taught me the importance to finish what I start.
They told me over and over not to cheat.
And they sometimes said I might get an incomplete.
I was always doing papers over and over again
Then they would give them back.
I don’t know how they managed but they always kept me on track.
It would be hard for me to learn new teachers again.
I love the old ones
To start again all over
Not knowing who you are going to meet.
There will be that one special teacher to get you back on your feet.
Many teachers may wonder how I get by
Because they might not know my feelings of how hard I try
You stayed after class to help me
I need to say thank you for all the extra things that you do
Because I don’t know what I’d do without you
I look up to you and you are my guiding light
And if I made mistakes you are there to correct me and tell me everything is alright.
I made it this far
I want that degree.
Its right there, I see it in my future
And its staring at me.
I have to thank all my instructors
Who have been there for me
Thanks for helping me through this it has been so far my plan
You have been there through it all and are my #1 fan.
I’m on a ladder to life
And it doesn’t seem to have a top
I will keep on climbing because there doesn’t seem to be a stop.
Because I’ve learned that learning has no end.
And when I graduate I plan to come back and find a friend.
I keep climbing higher and higher.
I will never rest.
I can’t stop until
I am the very best.
Because you have got all that I need
It will start growing in my future and help me succeed.
So I just wanted to say thanks.

3-14-07 Denise Rouffaer